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Friday, 13 September 2013

mind your manners

Even though it's been about 30° every day for the last two weeks, I have managed to catch myself a cold. In England this would be no big deal, and it's no different here except for when you sneeze in class. I had my first in-class sneeze today and I would estimate 5-10 people swung round and shouted BLESS YOU in my face. No exaggeration. It was as if they had some sort of reflex reaction to my sneezing or that there was a prize for whoever could say it quickest and loudest. It was hard not to laugh as it was so unexpected but I did somehow hold it together. In my next class I sneezed twice and this happened both times, so it's definitely a thing here. Which brings me to the point that, from what I've seen so far, English manners and American manners are very different.
South Carolina has actually been voted the most polite state in the USA so maybe I'm experiencing extreme levels of it, but people here really are polite, sometimes overwhelmingly so. I've definitely questioned the genuineness of some people's 'southern charm' but that's probably just my inner British cynicism.

I'm not sure why the stereotype exists about British people loving to queue, as unsurprisingly I've found that Americans do also have the ability to stand in an ordered line and wait to be served. However, in England, it's kind of an unwritten rule that you don't talk to other people in the queue, unless it's a necessity. About a year ago I was waiting to pay in Topshop and the girl in front of me suddenly projectile vomited everywhere and admittedly on that occasion I turned to the person behind and suggested we get out the way, but that was an exception. Here on the other hand, it is totally normal for the person next to you in the line to strike up conversation. The worst thing about this is that because the weather is always nice you can't use it as your default discussion topic and instead have to actually engage in real life conversation with a total stranger. Not very english at all.
Another thing, and this one I'm not complaining about, is the somewhat chivalrous nature of most of the guys here. You will always have the door held open for you, and I'm still getting used to the fact that people call me ma'am!
Staff in shops and restaurants are also unreservedly chatty; last week when we went out for a meal our waiter invited us to go and see him perform in Hamlet that evening. However, tipping here is very different, and you're expected to tip between 15 and 20 percent, and even tip bartenders. At first this was a big shock, as a tapwater-ordering vouchercode-hoarding student, voluntarily giving this much extra just didn't feel right. However, they do go all out on the service, and the food itself is a lot cheaper so I'm slowly getting used to it.
Perhaps as a contrast to American manners, I've noticed now how much I automatically apologise, just out of habit. Although repeatedly saying sorry, oh thanks, sorry etc is inherent to most exchanges in England, here it's not and I am constantly getting told by shop assistants that, 'it's ok, you haven't done anything wrong'.




I'm still not sure how much detail I'm meant to go into when the lady at the bagel shop asks me how my day's going, and I don't think I'm ever going to be the one who initiates conversation when waiting to pay, but maybe when I'm back at Warwick and someone sneezes mid-lecture I'll yell my blessing at them and see how it goes down. (or maybe not)


xxxxxxxxx


ps. having just googled the origins of saying 'bless you' when someone sneezes, the wisdom of wiki has told me that it likely comes from one of three things.
1) when you have the plague a key symptom is sneezing so you are literally being blessed in the hope you will survive
2) when you sneeze your soul can be thrown out of your nose, or the devil can sneak in and saying bless you acts as a shield against this evil
3) when you sneeze your heart stops and people saying bless you gets it going again

so maybe it's not politeness but just that people here are more wary of the plague/the devil/sudden cardiac arrest than in england, who knows?

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